Tag: 1990s

Adventures in Virginity: Building a Penis Pump for the Third Grade Science Fair

I had been in the garage for hours constructing a penis pump out of PVC pipe, duct tape, and miscellaneous medical supplies I had amassed from trips to the minor emergency. I was supposed to be brainstorming projects to build for the third grade science fair, but nothing had excited me quite like the prospect…




Adventures in Virginity: Latex, Lust and Catheters

At eighteen I was still a bit squeamish when it came to a stranger tinkering with my penis, even if she was a trained professional. In the previous months I had made great strides in this department. Yet, a certain amount of unease still seized me each time I prepared to give a new audience…




Adventures in Virginity: Getting the Lucky End of the Mop

I yanked off my underwear like a Band-Aid and covered myself with an undersized gym towel. Laughter cackled out of the shower-room mixed with clouds of steam and the roar of water. This would be a rowdy crowd, not to mention the biggest audience my penis had ever appeared before. Two days earlier my merrymaker…




Adventures in Virginity: Seducing the Family Couch

It takes a special kind of lothario to seduce the family couch, and I was just such a libertine. It didn’t bother me that the couch was possibly the most malformed creation in the history of modern living. It looked like it had been crudely cobbled together from skinned and cannibalized furniture. My father likely…




Adventures in Virginity: Skateboarding and other Crimes of Passion

Our Oldsmobile slammed into the back of the van in slow motion, or maybe it just felt that way due to the slowed-down gangster-rap of DJ Screw blasting from the rattling speakers. None of the skaters in our car were old enough to drive, so it hadn’t seemed like that much worse of a decision…




Adventures in Virginity: The Eight-Wheeled Love Machine

Playland’s sign hung over the windowless warehouse space of my neighborhood skating rink, making the venue look like a swinger sex palace—which is basically what it was. Playland was a magical realm overrun each weekend by a chaos of teens experimenting with love and drugs while flying at high speed around a concrete rink. The…